


Tommy Shelby Imagines

by doctahreid



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV), Peaky Blinders RPF
Genre: F/M, Imagines, Peaky Blinders - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, can tommy be happy for a sec?????, idek, peaky blinders imagines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:18:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9659120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctahreid/pseuds/doctahreid
Summary: This is a collection of tommy x reader imagine prompts also posted on my tumblr blog(if you have ideas/requests, please message me!)





	1. Fighting

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't know how it happened, but it did so I've decided to put it out there (cause Tommy needs a break, even if just in fics)  
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> "Imagine fighting Tommy 'cause of Grace only to find out he was only trying to keep you safe"

"You stay here, and I'm not repeating myself" Tommy's voice grew harsher as he looked around the room, his blue orbits fixing on you from the other side of the table. Seconds passed without any of you moving, and you could almost feel the tension increasing as the members of the Shelby family waited for you to nod and back down as you had done all those times before. Well, they were gonna have a surprise.

"I'm going home Thomas, and you better not have any of your men following me. They are needed elsewhere, since Kimber is coming and your pretty barmaid seems to have no use outside of the bedroom...I guess you could have her distract him, but that would leave you with the problem of the coppers...she can't fuck two different man at the same time" you spat, arms crossed over your chest, refusing to back down even as his face hardened and his fists were involved in a tight grip, testimony to the bad turn his humor took.

"I said you stay here with the family where it's safe." Each word was clearly enunciated, and the tone was the same he used whenever some new face showed up in town and he was trying to scare them into following his orders like the others did. "I have enough to worry about as it is"

"Except I'm not part of the family, am I Thomas? Last time I checked, my last name wasn't Shelby" John moved at the same time Tommy did, placing his body in front of you before his brother could grab your arm, locking gazes with him.

"Move away, John. This doesn't concern you" Tommy said, as you grabbed the back of John's shirt, finally realizing you had stepped out of line: you may not have the same blood, but for the last years, since your brother died in that damned war that changed everyone, especially Thomas, they took you in and made sure you were safe....they were your family. Well, they were all you had.

"If you wanna lash out, do it on me, not her"

"Wanna do something about her last comment? Turn her into one of us, maybe? Now is the time brother, we might not make it alive." he gave you both a cold grin before continuing "if you wanna have a chance, convince her to stay fucking safe, since she won't take my word"

"Just...just let me go home, Tommy. Everybody thinks I'm just an employee, I will be safer there, and out of the way, just like you want me to" when the man walked out from the room you followed him, trying to think of a way of apologizing for what you said (not the Grace part, you never really trusted the girl, especially knowing that her appearance was so close to Campbell's and if you were the only one not scared to point out to Tommy his needs were clouding his judgment, be it. The man was always mad at you anyway).

"Sure, until a bullet come crossing your windows, you will. James would be really surprised with your need for an early death, I think" everyone knew Tommy's room was off limits, but also was mentioning your dead brother so you pushed your way into the tiny space.

"Leave him out of it, Tommy! You're furious I mentioned your precious Grace, but it doesn't give you the right to talk to me about what my brother would want" you wouldn't cry. Not there, not in front of him.

"YES IT DOES" the explosion happened in a split second, a blink and you found yourself being pinned against the door as Thomas held your arms in place, his eyes searching for yours "It does, cause I promised him I would find and protect you and all you do is making it almost impossible for me to keep my word." bounding his head, the man let his forehead rest against yours, his now familiar scent filling your head as time dragged on "do it for John, if you must. Just....listen to me, for once. I have to go out there and face a man who won't hesitate to kill me unless I do it to him first, and I can't do it unless I know no matter the outcome you'll be safe"

"I'm not your responsibility, no matter what you promised my brother, Tommy" reaching out, you traced the light scar he had in his face with your fingertips "worry about yourself, all right? You need to walk out of this mess. I know you think they can get by if you're not there, but it's not true. They all need ya. They all love you, damn it" you half expected him to back out once your hands touched his lips, but the man didn't move, except from a harsh breath that sent tingles through your body as the two of you were so close.

"This is not about my responsibility, darling. Not anymore" the hand that rested in your right arm went up until it embraced your face, Tommy's thumb slowly caressing the heated skin as his voice dropped lower "Look me in the eye and promise me you'll be here. If I make it out alive, promise me you'll be the first face I see when I get home. Promise me just this time you'll run to me first, instead of my brother"

"I do..." you breath out, right before he finally closed the remaining distance between your bodies and let his lips cover yours.


	2. Kicking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Imagine having Tommy feel your baby kicking for the first time"

It was late, chances were your husband would be very mad at you for being out of bed, but hey, fuck it, these days Tom would be mad at everyone and everything anyway.

You were actually very lucky, cause unless you were putting yourself in harm's way, his anger never blown out on you and when it did, it was better for you then it would have been for anyone else: he loved you, after all.

The man who run Birmingham and part of London with icy blue eyes and an iron fist was completely in love with you. It made no sense, since you were as ordinary as someone could be, but you had loved him for a long time, so, that night, when he came knocking on your door after yet another game of chess with death, you let him in, kissed him back and decided talking could wait till the morning.

Now, almost three years after, you were standing on the doorway to his office, watching the way the shadows from the fireplace played on his beautiful features, trying to have the heart to wake him when the man looked so relaxed.

"Tom?" you whispered, after you walked up to him, your fingers dancing on the shaved parts of his hair, something you had discovered he really liked. "Tommy, come on, it's time for bed" you pleaded, when he didn't move.

"What are you doing up, love?" his voice was cracking and he let out a sight before opening his eyes and reaching for the empty glass of whisky right in front of him.

"Came down to see if you were done for today" resting your hands in his shoulders, you moved until you saw his face, hating the signs of exhaustion you could read on his eyes. Damned would be Thomas Shelby and his need to take and carry the whole fucking world on his back, you thought "We should go back to bed, where you can really rest"

"You go up, I still have some business to take care of" he whispered, kissing your knuckles when you started caressing his face.

"No time for your silly wife then?" he didn't stop you when you sat on his lap, nor when your hands entangled themselves on his hair, he just held you, his right hand resting on your growing belly where your first child was waiting until it was time to meet the world

"I always have time for my stunning and stubborn wife" he replied, after some minutes.

"Then what is it? Something happened tonight? Something you didn't see coming?" he didn't really like to talk about his work with you in that condition, but sometimes you'd push. He needed to talk to someone, and you were always willing to listen...anything that took some of the weight out of his back.

"I had to kill someone today. That's not really a problem for me, the guy had it coming but..then I got home and started thinking."

"About?"

"Anything. Everything. The whole fucking life, love. The baby...his father is an assassin, a thief...doesn't it bother ya?" when you looked back at him, ready to say how absurd that thought was you saw something you hadn't on a long time, glowing in the back of the sea of blue you knew so well: fear. Tommy faced dangerous men every second of every day, and yet he was scared of letting you or your baby down.

"No, Thomas. Not just because I love you, but cause I've known you long enough to be sure what you do isn't who you are. When I look at you, I see a caring, driven, intelligent man who would do anything to keep his family safe and I'm sure this is what our child will see. The real you" as if it was really listening in to the talk, the baby chose that moment to kick. It was a very strange feeling at first, but Tommy got a grip on what was happening before you could, and the look of utterly admiration on his face made you relax, leaning in so you could join your lips. The kiss started out gentle, but soon your husband stopped holding back and by the time he pulled away you had lost your breath and your whole body tingled with desire.

"I think he agrees with his mum" Tommy whispered, his lips driving south to your neck.

"Of course he does, I'm the smart one" you replied, right before a moan took the place of your words.


	3. Talking.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Imagine being the first person Tommy talks to after Grace's death"

The faint sound of the burning fire was your only companion that night. Other than the little boy sleeping in a four poster bed nearby, the words inside the book you kept trying to read and the load of men outside, the mansor was empty.

To be fair, you had no idea how you ended up there, after all that time: you guessed somehow, you always would be dragged back into Tommy's life, even if it was just to take care of his son. You didn't want to be there. You knew you shouldn't, and yet you couldn't avoid it...not after that call, not after hearing him saying those words in a broken, hollow voice you would never match to the man you have loved all your life.

Grace...she's gone. My wife is dead.

It was all he said, and it was more than enough. Back on your tiny apartment in London, you had no idea what those words meant to you, not until Polly showed up at your place three days later asking for your help. Something was wrong, terribly wrong with Thomas and she thought if someone could help, it would be you.

The second best. The closest thing to what he felt for Grace. The woman he could have loved if the horrors of war hadn't changed him so much.

You didn't plan on saying yes. Leaving the Shelbys was the hardest thing you had ever done, knowing them all for all of your life, caring for all of them as you did and you weren't sure you could go through that a second time. Yes, maybe she was right, maybe you could help him, but what then? He would heal and you would still be the girl who wanted what she couldn't have. No, you should have stayed in London....but then, there were Charlie.

Charlie, the boy who had his father's eyes and that seemed to take a liking on you the minute Poll put him in your arms so she could have a smoke. The inocent baby who lost his mom way too soon and that would lose his dad too, if Tommy didn't find a way to deal with his pain.

And now, there you were, back where you started.

(...)

"Hi there" the voice was calmer than usual and when you opened your eyes, you found Tommy hovering over you, the book you dropped when you fell asleep in one of his hands, a glass of whisky on the other.

"Where's Charlie?" was the first thing out of your mind once your brain got back working.

"Right there sleeping, love. The child is alright" when his eyes darted to the bed, the mask of indifference Tommy would put up to face the world fell down for some moments, and all you could read in his features was love.. that was why getting over him was so hard. Tommy didn't let that much people in, but oh, once he did, he loved with all he had and it was simply beautiful. That was what you longed the most, and the one thing you knew you would never have. "He's alright, at least for the moment."

"What happened?" asking about his business were never a smart move, but if there was something you could do to prevent him from suffering more than he had, you sure as well would.

"Nothing. I...she would know what to do. If she was here, and I wasn't, she would know what to do."

Oh shit, he was talking about Grace. He was talking about his lost love, and all you could do was sit there and listen, manly because it was the first time he did it. After the funeral, he stopped mentioning Grace all together and that was scaring the shit out of his family. No one had a clue about what he was planning to do next and with Thomas, that could mean big trouble coming.

"What do you mean?" when silence dragged around the room, you had to ask.

"She would know how to tell him about his father. He wouldn't miss me as much as he does with her. She should be here, she's not. It's my fault, and once he's old enough, he'll know it as well as I do."

"It wasn't your fault." you didn't know how it happened, and you weren't about to ask but you felt in your bones Tommy would do anything to protect her.

"Yes, it was. My wife she...took a bullet meant for me, darling." gulping in the last of his drink, the man dropped the glass to the floor and diverted his eyes to the fire.

"It was her choice, Tommy." against every fiber in your body telling you not to you stood up and dropped to your knees in front of him, touching his hand before saying: "I didn't know Grace that well but I get what she did. Why she did it. She loved you, Thomas. She loved you so much she would do anything to keep you safe"

"Look what it did to her" he breathed out, relaxing his muscles a bit as you kept tracing his skin with your fingertips.

"You think she would be better had you been killed? She wouldn't. You...you're strong, Tommy. It's hard, but someday, somehow, you'll wake up and realize it doesn't hurt as much. She wouldn't. If you were gone....I don't think she would be able to ever cope with it" by that moment you knew you had stopped talking about only Grace, and for the likes of the way Tommy stared at you he did as well. Yet, you knew neither of you would say anything about it, and you didn't.

That was just how it was with you. How it would always be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I have ideas to a part 2 of this imagine and all (if you would like to read that, please let me know!)


	4. Claiming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Imagine Tommy’s reaction to you knowing Alfie from when you were a kid”

The wind blowed your untamed her all over your face as you stood in the alley that was closer to the warehouse where Thomas had entered some minutes ago: you knew that was a long shot and that if you were mistaken he would be crossed at you for god knows how long, but you still followed him and one of the Peaky boys all the way out there, cause well, you had to be sure.  
Fuck it, he would be crossed at you even if you were right, so whatever.  
“Come on, come out already” as time passed, you found it harder and harder to focus on the present time, memories of the tough but sweet boy you knew so long ago floating back in. You never really liked thinking back to those times, but if you had to do it, Alfred was sure a safe topic to land in: when you first met, he was already a lad and you were nothing but a little girl, but the circumstances brought you close very quickly...it turned out that being different would never stop cutting people out from the larger groups, no matter what With your stomped leg and Alfie's short temper that manifested itself upon the twitch in his eyes, the two of you soon discovered that you were all the other would get in that small and forgotten village you lived in.   
In no time, you were inseparable, him treating you like a little sister he would do anything to protect (even if it was from yourself and your illogical fear of storms), and you patching him up after every street fight he got in: you knew how to stitch and put a broken bone back in place before you knew how to read, and he never complained about the fact that you held him back whenever you got in trouble, cause you were too broken to be able to properly run.  
Until the day his mom took him away. One morning you went out and he was just….gone. Nowhere to be found.   
And now there he was, walking alongside Tommy.  
It was him, you were sure as soon as you laid eyes on him. It was him, and he was there again. Before you had time to consider what he had become and why Tommy was negotiating business with him, you had stormed out of the protection of the shadows and started walking to them.   
Thomas saw you first, the ice in his stare going down for a moment before his brain registered the danger he was positive you were putting yourself in just by being there, but you couldn’t let him make you back up, not in that moment.   
“Hello Al” you whispered, standing in front of the tall build up man as his employees came closer, fearing you were part of some sort of trap from the Peaky Blinders.  
“Stay there. will you? It’s just a girl, if I can’t handle her we’re in some deep shit here” the man was smiling as he spoke, preventing Tommy from walking up to you, his eyes darting down and widening when he saw the way you limped.  
Then, there were strong arms around you, and he said your name like it was a prayer.  
“I don’t know how you did that, Shelby but if this lady trusts you, that’s all I need to know before doing the same. I got your back, man”

(....)  
The road back home was mostly silent.   
Tommy kept his eyes on the road, the cigarettes on his mouth being replaced as soon as they ran out and you tried to keep the smile out of your face cause you knew him well enough to be sure that wouldn’t help.  
“I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going” you breathed out, when the silent treatment became too much to bare.  
“As you should be, if you still have some sense in that pretty empty head of yours”  
“I would have told you, but you would have made me stay and we both know that” having him use that tone with you was harsh, but you still didn’t budge: if that was the price that had to be paid to know Alfie wasn’t dead or locked up somewhere, a fear you had endured ever since he went away, well so be it.  
“I’m sorry for wanting you to stay safe, darling. My mistake, as it looks.”  
“I had to know, Tommy! I wondered what happened to him for years and I knew he would never hurt me”  
“That was gambling, love. What if it wasn’t him? What if he didn’t remember you, or cared? There’s a reason for him to set up a meeting in his grounds and with me and just me, and it’s not the goodness of his heart!” oh, there it was: the anger. You asked yourself how long would take for it to surface. Turned out it decided to happen in the middle of the road, which meant you were left to deal with it without any possibility of someone distracting Tommy.   
“You wouldn’t let him, or anyone hurt me. Either way, I would be safe, Tom” choosing to keep your voice as soft as you could, you reached out to touch Tommy’s arm, holding onto it as you carried on “in the end, me knowing Al helped. I mean, now you both know you can trust each other.”  
“Now I know I have one more bastard to worry about” when he finally moved in his seat to stare at you, there was one more emotion to be read in his piercing eyes: possessiveness.   
“Trust me, you don’t. Not that you have to do it about anyone, but especially not about Alfie. He’s like my big brother, tho, so you might have to explain why I live with you and we’re not married, but that’s about it.”  
“As long as he keeps his hands off what’s mine” Tommy spoke while folding a stray lock of your long hair in his fingertips, his eyes glued to your lips: he felt like kissing you until you had forgotten your own name, but he was still torn about doing so or continue his lecture about how stupid your earlier moves had been.   
“Am I yours, now?” you asked, simply because you enjoyed the glowing in his eyes every time he said you belonged to him.  
“You know you are” he whispered, pulling you closer so the next couple of words were whispered right into your right ear embodied in a light tone “and I think after last night, everyone in the house does too”   
Normally, Tom would enjoy the beautiful spread of red coloring your pale complexion, but in that exact moment, he was too busy reclaiming your mouth with his to even care.  
Solomons could screw himself, You’re his, you were home and no one would take you away,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not really sure about this one (it was part of a larger history I thought of writing but that got held up and all...) What do you guys think of it? Tell me, please!


	5. Talking (PART II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine being the first person Tommy talks to after Grace’s death”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for a second part of this imagine, so here it is! It's longer than expected, but I hope you guys love it as much as I do (lemme know what you think in the comments, please?)

If someone asked you when your relationship with Tommy started to evolve, you wouldn’t be able to give them an answer: it just happened. When you first came back, the plan was staying for a few weeks, helping around with Charlie so that his father would have the time and space to grieve for his lost love and then going back to your old, plain, boring and safe life before it was too late.

2 years later, you were still there, even more entangled in the Shelby’s lives than you had been when you were just a foolish girl. The worst part? As each day passed, your resolve to leave soon seemed to weaken further into the back of your mind. You were basically screwed, waiting for the day your stupid feelings would go out of control again.

“You there, sweetheart?” Poll’s voice brought you back from your thoughts, the quietness of her new place feeling odd as you were used to the undying chaos of the old Shelby betting shop.

“Yeah, sorry. Did you say anything?”

“I was just wondering how Tom feels about this Henry person you’re seeing now” her eyes were glued to you as she let the words slip past her lips, watching your every move.

“He doesn’t know about Henry for now” you confessed, a urge of color coming to your cheeks, even though you hadn’t done more than going on walks and a dinner with the American lad you met on the city, some months back. Not that anyone had anything to do with it if things had progressed, anyway.

“If you think about keeping it up, you’d better tell him before he finds out on his own”

“There’s nothing to tell. He is new to town and in need of a friend, just like me. i love Charlie, but I do want someone to talk about more than toys” you shot back, smiling when the little lad’s face showed up in your mind. Of course sometimes you could see how the token of not having his mom around weighted on the boy, but you still thought that you, Tommy and the rest of the Shelby family were doing a good job. Charles was happy, and loved beyond any kind of measure.

“I suspect the bloke wants more than your friendship and I think you do too” lightning a cigarette, Polly started walking around the room as she spoke “This is what, the third time you go out this month?”

“We both enjoy a good meal and he actually talks to me, you know? I feel like I can help him, even when all he needs is someone that will sit back and listen to his rants about home” you sounded more bittersweet than you intended to, but the good news were that Polly had always been aware of how you felt over that damned insistence of her nephew in keeping you in the dark when it came to his business, so she wouldn’t bother.

“I will stand back, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when it all blows over in your face” she half scoffed, half laughed: “Tommy has never been one to share what he deems as his own”

“Good thing that I never belonged to him, then” standing up from the dressing table you stole a glance over the clock hanging on the wall, checking to see if you were not about to be late before bending down to kiss Charlie’s forehead, who, despite having a bunch of very comfortable beds at his disposal, only fell asleep if you were near “Thanks for watching him tonight” you knew Tommy had lots of maids at his house, but that didn’t mean you would trust any of them with Charlie, so, every other weekend the two of you had a sleepover at Poll’s for your night off.

“Bullshit, you know I love the kid.” Polly heard the horn’s sound before you did and practically pushed you off the door “He’s gonna be ok, love. Now, off you go. Have a good time, while my nephew refuses to use his stubborn head”

She had shut you out of the house before you had the spirit to wonder about what exactly she meant.

(...)

“I assume you had a nice evening” the voice coming from the darkened room startled you, but you guessed had things not happened as they did that night, the surprise of having Thomas waiting for you would be a lot worse.

“I did in fact, Mr. Shelby” dropping your velvet purse on the nearest couch, you sat down, assuming whatever that little act was, it would take a while.

“I’m glad one of us did. My evening was going fine, just like any other, until I decided to come here and pick up my son, you know? I was thinking that you deserved some time without a child on your heels but it turned out you were already onto it.” the rhythm of his tapping on the glass of whisky on his hand was the only kind of movement you could spot on Tommy’s being, and even after all that time, you sensed that was no good news.

“It was my night off, I never assumed going out would be a problem” you knew what he was trying to do, but you were not about to let him use Charles against you.

“Absolutely, you have every right to do that. I just thought you would tell us when you started dating, rather than keeping a secret.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend. Or a secret, for that matters. He’s just a friend I go out with every other night, Thomas.”

“When did you start kissing your friends like that?” the blunt way he shot out the question made your cheeks burn, even if you both knew the kiss you and Henry shared on the porch and the Shelby apparently witnessed was little more than a peck of lips.

“I don’t...he just…” you were in the process of trying not to stumble on your answer when you realized you simply didn’t own him one. “Why do you care so much, Thomas?”

“My son deeply cares for you, I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

“It was just an innocent kiss, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Don’t worry, I will try and remember to tell you should things progress between us” as you stood up, you were chuckling to yourself, thinking about how unlikely that sentence was: Henry was a great guy, you could talk to him for hours about anything and everything, and still, you felt nothing when he kissed you. It just wasn’t right.

“I hated to see it.” the easy way the words came out of his mouth had you stuck on your tracks, wishing your feet would just bloody work and get you out of there before things got even more awkward. “I hope he never touch you again.”

That was it. You should just go up stairs and get to bed, pretend like you haven’t noticed the sting of hurt on his words. Honestly, things were complicated enough as it was.

Instead, you stayed where you were, and somehow managed to make things worse:

“Well, I hated to see you getting married to someone else, Tommy. And I hated every time you went after someone before, and after Grace, but that never stopped you… that’s what life’s about, right? We have to deal with crap we hate all the time.”

That seemed to do the trick of shutting him up, even if just for a couple of seconds as you put back your emotions in check. It was ok, it was just a proper response for the way the man had ventured through dangerous territory, you absolutely did not give anything too bad away. You never did, though you knew Tommy knew how you felt about him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t...plan on getting married. Or making you watch it.”

“Not until Grace, I get it. No one ever thought you would, too. She was a miracle worker, being able to make the great Thomas Shelby feel and think beyond his needs on business.” The fact that he was apologizing would later stick with you, but for the time being you just needed to let some of your hurt out. The thing was, you never got what Grace had that made Tommy go weak like he had. She was pretty and devoted of course, but he had met women like her before and it didn't mean anything. She broke his heart once and he still let her back, but always kept you at a safe distance. He always would.

“I know you loved me.” It was his only response, when the time kept passing and neither one of you uttered another word. “Before I left for the war, when I came back...Once I discovered Grace was an operative. On my wedding day. Every second of every day for all those years, I could see how you felt.”

“You never felt the same.” You stated, your voice shallow. It was a terrible moment to have a chat like that, but at least you were talking. Finally, you could stop wondering.

“I was angry when she told me she was with child. I didn't know how to be a fucking parent and the aftermath of her betrayal was so fresh I didn’t want to be linked to her for life. Today, I’m thankful” he moved closer to you without you noticing it, making you jump in place when his hand made contact with your shoulder and preventing you from moving away when you tried to, what left you with nothing to do but stare into his deep blue eyes.

“You love Charlie, and he’s part of her too.” you whispered, wishing Polly or one of the maids would get in and force you to interrupt this disastrous conversation.

“I do, but that’s not why I’m glad she told me that in the day she did. When she met me at the races, I had just decided I was coming home and talking to you.”

“What would you need to talk to me about?”

“I was gonna tell you I was in love with you too. I was gonna say I knew I was far from the good man you deserved, but that I still wanted you. I was going to say I was sorry for making you watch me with Grace, and that if you could forgive me for being a complete ignorant and acting like I didn’t know what I was making you go through, that I wanted us to try. To be together.”

“But she did tell you about your son that day” by that time the tears had started falling and you couldn’t care less for the fact that Thomas was seeing them. After that, you sure as hell was gonna leave again, for good this time, so it didn’t really matter.

“Yes, she did. She did, and then we got married. Soon you left, while I kept my feelings hidden.”

“We lost our timing again.”

“And I’m always gonna love Grace for it.” you had to pull away when his thumb brushed your tears away, cause every second longer made the torture worse, but you couldn’t. Not just yet.

“She was your real love. It’s fine, Thomas.”

“She kept you alive. If I had said it, you could be the one in the way of the bullet that killed her. I would have lost you a second time.”

“You can’t...lose what was never yours, Tommy” the way he was looking at you made you tramble on your feet. The man was too close for your own good. “I’d better go to my room now. Talking it over won’t change the past”

“Stay.” it was a simple word, but it had such a deep meaning “I know I’m not good, or a fun American guy that makes you laugh but I’m done missing out on what I want. Please, stay.”

You should answer. You wanted to. Instead, you just pulled yourself up, embracing his neck with your shaking hands to pull his head down until your lips met. When they did, you knew all the years suffering had been worth it. It was right. And just the beginning of a long history.

A love one, at last.


	6. REQUESTING PROMPTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> requesting time!!!!

hi there! so, I'm in a big mood for writing, but I can't decide in one idea, so here are some prompts (I'd love if you guys could comment a number with something you wanna read about) 

Angst:

1: " Give me a chance. "  
2: " Not you again.. "  
3: " Leave me alone. "  
4: " I don't love you anymore. "  
5: " Why do you hate me? "  
6: " I lost the baby. "  
7: " I thought you loved me. "  
8: " I don't need you anymore. "  
9:" I can't believe you! "  
10: " We cant keep this up forever. "  
11: " You're a monster. "  
12: " I hate you. "  
13: " Don't leave me... "  
14: " You're a disappointment. "  
15: " Don't die on me– Please. "  
16: " I never meant to hurt you. "  
17: " Are you upset with me? "  
18: " I wish i'd never met you. "  
19: " I'm going to kill you! "  
20: " Please don't hurt me like this. "  
21: " Thanks for nothing. "  
22: " Dont call this number again. "  
23: " Why did you spare me? "  
24: " You need to leave. "  
25: " I'm sick. "  
26: " I'm dying. "  
27: " I wish i'd never met you. "  
28: " I thought we were family!"  
29: " There was never an us. "  
30: " So that's it? It's over? "  
31: " I fucked up. "  
32: " I came to say goodbye. "  
33:" He's dead because of you. "  
34: " I don't deserve to be loved. "  
35: " About the baby... Its yours. "

 

Love:

36: " I'm so in love with you. "  
37: " Dance with me! "  
38: " Isn't this amazing? "  
39: " I wish we could stay like this forever. "  
40: " Will you marry me? "  
41: " I'm pregnant. "  
42: " I need a hug. "  
43: " You're special to me. "  
44: " I'm going to keep you safe. "  
45: " Do you trust me? "  
46: " Can I kiss you right now? "  
47: " You're cute when you're angry. "  
48: " I've liked you for awhile now. "  
49: " Lets have a baby. "  
50: " We'd make such a cute couple. "  
51: " I want to take care of you. "  
52: " Can we cuddle? "  
53: " It's lonely here without you. "  
54: " I can't stand the thought of loosing you. "  
55: " Shut up and kiss me already. "  
56: " Are you flirting with me? "  
57: " Is that my shirt? "  
58: " How did we get here? "  
59: " You own my heart. "  
60: " You'd be a great dad. "  
61: " You'd be a great mom. "  
62: " I want to protect you. "  
63: " Whats the matter? "  
64: " You're so beautiful. "  
65: " Did you do something different with your hair? "  
66: " Is that a new perfume? "  
67: " Stop being so cute. "  
68: " You're making me blush! "  
69: " You're teasing me again... "  
70: " This is why I fell in love with you. "  
71: " You're the best! "  
72: " They're going to love you, don't worry! "  
73: " Oh, Are you ticklish? "  
74: " Of course I remembered! "  
75: " You're one hell of a girl. "  
76: " You're one hell of a guy. "  
77: " Are you jealous? "  
78: " Hold me and never let me go. "  
79: " Stop hogging all the blankets! "  
80: " Lets run away together. "

 

General:

90: " Catch me if you can! "  
91: " I'm fine. "  
92: " Are you drunk? "  
93: " Are you high? "  
94: " We cant go in there... "  
95: " Give it back! "  
96: " Well this is just great. "  
97: " Don't touch me. "  
98: " Not sure if you could tell, but I'm not exactly a people person. "  
99: " This was fun— Lets do it again sometime!"  
100: " I didn't do it! "  
101: " I did it... "  
102: " I don't remember that! "  
103: " Well that's pretty rude of you to say. "  
104: " Get that thing away from me! "  
105: " You owe me. "  
106: " Do you believe in aliens? "  
107: " Do you believe in ghosts? "  
108: " Are you hitting on me? "  
109: " Why are you naked? "  
110: " You did what?! "  
111: " You have... Superpowers? "  
112: " Why are you bleeding? "  
113: " Where did all these puppies come from?"  
114: " Don't make me come over there myself! "  
115: " That wasn't funny. "  
116: " This tastes horrible. "  
117: " This is delicious! "  
118: " Are you mad at me? "  
119: " Stop ignoring me... "  
120: " I love that show too! "  
121: " Can I borrow that book of yours?"  
122: " Lets blow this joint. "  
123: " Let me help you with that. "  
124: " Take that back! "  
125: " Wanna go see a movie with me? "  
126: " No way, that's so lame. "  
127: " What are you listening to? "  
128: " I brought you your coffee. "  
129: " Don't fuck this up. "  
130: " Run! "  
131: " Lets run away together. "  
132: " I haven't slept in four days... "  
133: " Your turn to do the dishes. "  
134: " Was I really that drunk? "  
135: " Was I really that stoned? "  
136: "Give me back my phone! "  
137: " You're an asshole. "  
138: " Are you cold? "  
139: " This place gives me the creeps. "  
140: " I swear my house is haunted. "  
141: " Did you hear that? "  
142: " It's just your imagination. "  
143: " Just how stupid do you think I am? "  
144: " Stop being such a baby. "  
145: " Go back to bed. "  
146: " Are you okay? "  
147: " I can take care of myself just fine."  
148: " Thanks for helping me back there. "  
149: " Since when have we ever been friends? "  
150: " What on earth are you wearing? "  
151: " I can't feel my legs! "  
152: " Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. "  
153: " Put me down! "  
154: " There's only one bed... "  
155: " It isn't what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is... "  
156: " How did I loose it? "  
157: " I read your diary. "  
158: " This is awkward. "  
159: " Didn't you read the sign? "  
160: " Do you think you can teach me that? "

Sexual: 

161: " Bite me. "  
162: " Make me. "  
163: " Fuck me. "  
164: " Stop teasing me so much... "  
165: " Do you like it when I touch you like that?"  
166: " Okay.. This is new. "  
167: " Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? "  
168: " You're in trouble now. "  
169: " What a pretty sight. "  
170: " Bend over. "  
171: " On your knees. "  
172: " The food looks great but.. There's something much more delicious i'd like to eat right now. "  
173: " Lay back. "  
174: " Take off your clothes. "  
175: " Well, fine; just this once. "  
176: " I'm waiting. "  
177: " You're so beautiful. "  
178:" As you wish. "  
179: " First one to make a noise looses."  
180: " You have no idea what you do to me. "  
181: " If you're bored; Wanna have sex? "  
182: " Ive wanted this for so long. "  
183: " Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. "  
184: " Can I touch you? "  
185: " Open up. "  
186: " No strings attached. "  
187: " Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? "  
188: " Mine. "  
189: " The nights still young. "  
190: " We cant do that here! "  
191: " Behave. "  
192:" What did you just say? "  
193: " Good girl. "  
194: " Good boy. "  
195: " Come here. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO, please tell me if you're comfortable reading smut or not, just hit me up if you can 
> 
> AND MASSIVE THANKS FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN READING THESE, I LOVE YOU ALL


	7. Losing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My take on the requested prompts number 4/147... hope y'all like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a warning before we started: there's some trying of a smuttish scene by the end (trying being the key word)

The fact that the scars made the tears running down your face sting made you even angrier: nonetheless, you kept throwing clothes into the bag, wanting to get out of the flat as soon as you could, since the only chance you had of escaping the reach of the Peaky Blinders was if you board the next train.

“What the hell you think you doing?” The voice was well known, the calloused fingers brushing your arm caused you to flinch back, too bothered to control your reaction.

“What does it look like, Thomas? I'm getting out of the way so you can fuck the barmaid without having to hide it”

“Would you stop that and let me talk to you? That scene at the Garrison, I can explain it”

“No need. I’m deformed, not blind. I know what I saw” turning back in a haste, you forgot that was the side of the room that held the mirror and was presented with the full vision of your face and the crouched skin that took over almost half of it. When the flow of tears got worse you told yourself that was only because you were so fucking mad at Tommy, it had nothing to do with feeling sorry for yourself; the fire that kissed your once common body took place years ago and you were way over the phase of mourning for it: you were never pretty anyway, so it wasn’t like you had lost much.

You were never pretty like her.

Most of the days, you were okay that fact. Not today tho. Not after seeing the way  she had her hands all over Tommy in the backroom of the Garrison.

“That wasn’t what it looked like. Grace...there’s something about her. Something that doesn't quite fit. I'm tryna figure out what that is, that’s all” you never understood how Thomas managed to always seem calm, no matter what he was facing, he kept the storm under control unless he felt he could gain something by letting hell break loose. 

“And you’ve decided seducing her is the best way to do so? Or it’s just that you're tired of having to pretend loving a monster… wanted someone pretty for once?” taking a deep breath to steady yourself you finally turned on your heels to look at your fiancee “I get it. She’s worth the risk, and I am never around the Garrison, you thought you could handle us both. Now you don’t have to. I'm out. We're done” he caught your hand when you started fighting with your fingers to get the engagement ring off it.

“Stop! Love...just listen to me. Let's talk about it. Nothing happened, I swear. She’s attracted to me or some shit and I'm using that. That’s all. Business. I don’t want her in any way. I have you, why would I want her or anyone else?” His words sounded true, but you knew better than that. Yes, maybe he was telling the truth, and did love you, but he was still a man, right? That meant he would be tempted. It was a risk you couldn’t take. It would break your heart if he ever cheated, break it beyond repair. 

“Maybe you just...want to love me, Tommy. You want it, cause you feel bad for me. You want cause….cause you feel guilt you weren’t here when my old house burned down, so you think it’s your fault for not saving me. You don’t have to. It’s ok to fall for someone else, you know” staring at his piercing eyes, you felt the resolve to say the next phrase sink in: it isn’t Grace, I believe you. It’s not her, but it’s going to be someone, someday...that’s why you have to let me go.”

“No! You can’t just leave me. Not because you’re afraid of something that doesn't even happened. Something I know won’t happen. I love you” that was the first time since the war that you were able to see despair taking over his face: even after the night terrors that haunted Tom day in and out, he was always quick to put the mask of indifference back in place...now, the man wasn’t even bothering to try. The blue in his eyes burned bright and you felt terrible for even thinking about what you were about to do, but for once you decided to put yourself first, so you whispered the only words you knew were prom to make him stop trying to mend things:

“I’m sorry Tommy, but I just...I feel like  **I don’t love you anymore** ” 

 

[...]

Time passed without you noticing after that day. You suspected you had somewhat developed the same skills Tommy had when he came home,  the way he would be there without actually being. You finally understood the kind of pain that forced someone into acting like that, but you were glad, cause to everyone else it seemed like you had found a way of moving on with your life, what meant they didn’t bother you much. 

Except for the Shelbys: in the end, you stayed back in Small Heath, that was the only place you had known for all your life and you figured it would be easier to just stay put. As long as you kept yourself indoors you wouldn’t run into Tommy, and you could pretend like you didn’t notice the men watching from the other side of the street all the bloody time. Ignoring Ada, Pol or even Finn, however was harder: they said you were still family, and they weren't going anywhere.

That's why you opened the door that night, you told yourself. Hearing little Finn’s voice screaming for you had you startled, cause Polly wouldn't simply let him run around so late, so you enveloped yourself in a robe and went to the door:

“Finn what the hell are you doing on the street so late?” You nearly yelled, checking his body for injuries just in case.

“That would be my fault, love” Thomas voice made you jump in place, just as the sight of beaten up face: the man was a complete mess, his lips parted, an ugly cut covering his forehead  and you suspected a lot of bruises down his body, for the way he winced every time he took a breath.

“I’m not even gonna ask about it” moving back, you gave them space to enter your house and watched as Tommy stumbled forward, sitting in your small sofa with a sigh 

“I told ya she was gonna be mad, Finn” he spit the words, as you stood in front of him, crossing your arms in front of your chest to prevent touching him. 

“Her house is closer than ours” the boy responded, hugging your waist, looking at you like he was trying to apologise.

“It’s ok Finn. You did the right thing” messing up his curls, you turned around and poured Tommy hs drink, your fingers brushing when you handled it over. “Let me get some clean cloths, you’re gonna need some patching. Finn, you can take my bed if you want, I don’t recon you guys are going home soon” you whispered, when you saw the youngest Shelby curling up besides your ex. 

“I wanna help Tom”

“Already did, little man. Let me take care of him for now, how ‘bout that?”

“ **I can take care of myself just fine** ” the words were meant to sound harsh, but Tommy was way too exhausted for that to properly work and for you he looked just like Finn, a little boy fighting sleep.

“I can see that, sure” you moved out of the room without noticing Thomas followed right behind.

“Sorry that we came here” his presence seemed to fill your tiny kitchen and you had to busy yourself gathering supplies just so you won’t turn around and just give in to your need of holding him for a while, just to know he was ok. “I think I scared him”

“It’s fine, Thomas. I just wish you’d be more careful...you’re not invincible, you are just a man”

“A man with the devil in his back”

“Still a man” turning around, you mentioned to him to sit down on one of the chairs, positioning yourself in between his parted legs. For a few moments, you just stayed quiet, cleaning up his wounds, ignoring his eyes glued to your every move.

“Shit, it stings!” his voice were raised when the cloth made contact to his skin and you chucked.

“You’re gonna wake up Finn, Mr Shelby” 

“We could throw a bloody party in here, he’s dead for the world love” he arched his eyebrows when you started unbuttoning his shirt, one of his hands reaching out to touch your side and deciding otherwise in the last second. 

“I just need to check….for other wounds” you were suddenly aware of his closeness and your body warmed, reacting to it even against your better judgment.

“You can undress me whenever you want, you know that” playful Tommy barely never made an appearance, which only made you love it more when he did.

“You’re supposed to be hurt, sir.”

“You’re not supposed to want me, and yet you do” he caught your hands before you could place them in one of the purple wholes over his pale skin and brought it up, kissing each and everyone of your fingers before placing it over his face. “I want you too”

“Tommy…” it had to stop. It was the middle of the night and he had just got beaten up god knows for what, but you couldn’t avoid caressing his face, nor the way he pulled you closer until you had no choice but to  bent down and  adjust yourself in his lap, your body straddling his. Tommy had stopped speaking by then, he just stared at you and moved slowly, as if he was scared any sudden move could break the spell of the moment before he could kiss you again. “what are you doing?”

“You know” one of his hands started wandering, going up the length of your spine until it was lost in between the locks of your long curly hair, the other one flexing itself on your waist to steady you when the shivering started. God, you had missed that. His touch. “You’re gonna tell me to stop, I know that as well. Just not yet. Please, not before I kiss you” his mouth was on yours then, and it wasn’t gentle. Instead, Tommy kissed you like he had been drawing and you were a wave of fresh air, pulling your hair and crushing your body closer, not seeming to mind that he was hurt. You kissed him back just as fiercely, your hands clasped around his neck, the known fire starting to burn your veins as each second passed, wanting to get closer no matter what.

When he finally pulled back, your name was spoken in a tone full of adoration, as his lips travelled south, his clumsy fingers pulling at the fabric of your robe to get it out of the way so he could distribute kisses and bites over your skin. 

“That’s gonna leave a mark” you breathed out, just to distract yourself from the way his suking on your neck made you feel, or the fact that you could distinctly feel his hardening shaft and how it made the throbbing between your legs worsen.

“Good” he let out a whining sound when you couldn’t resist rubbing yourself against him, his hands becoming rougher as a way to try to control himself. In all honest, all he wanted was to pull back, release himself and be buried deep inside your body in the next minute, but he knew he had to slow it down. It had to be your call this time, so he just enjoyed the godly friction you were trying to create. “Let me touch you” he whispered, upon noticing the humping wouldn’t be enough to take you over the edge, but knowing you were to stubborn to ask, smiling when he felt your nodding against his neck. Maneuvering his right hand upon your leg in no time, Tommy could feel your warmth, your silk like skin burning more with every inch he explored. Soon, he could feel your wetness around his fingers, and he played with it for a while, rubbing circles around that special numble of nerves until you couldn’t hold back the incoherent sounds coming off your pretty mouth. Only then he let a finger slip inside, whistling when he felt how tight you were, how much pressure he could feel as your walls clenched around him, wishing it was his cock being engulfed instead of his fingers. When he started fucking you you lost your mind: you had no idea of where you were, or the time passing, all you could focus on was the way he felt, and the tension building up until it broke. 

When the world went back to it’s place you were panting hard, clenching to Tommy’s body without a care about hurting him further and considering begging him to take you right there against the kitchen table.

“I missed you, love” he whispered, his voice rough, his accent cutting in. You both knew you had a lot to deal with, but in that moment, everything could wait. 

The rest of the world simply didn’t matter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! (Especially about my try on the smut, it's been so long since I wrote something like that I have no idea if it makes any sense..


	8. News (w/Alfie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which you have to tell Alfie you're carrying his child

He was drunk. Being who he was, doing the work that he did, you never thought you would actually get to see that one day, but it was a good sight: as you sat in his lap in the crowded room, for once Alfie didn’t seem to mind or even notice everyone’s eyes rounding the place but eventually ending up on you.

You got that: the fact that you saw the sweet side of the feared gangster didn’t mean anyone else had the same pleasure, so it had to be at least interesting to see Alfie laughing with a thing half his size in his lap. Not more interesting than seeing Tommy around his wife, you thought - that one was a surprise, you never even considered that the man still had a heart after the war, but Grace was capable of making him seem almost warm - and as you watched them, you felt like the news the doctor told you earlier that day didn’t have to be a bad thing...yes, they all did bad things to survive, but they weren’t bad people. They loved, still, it was clear in Tommy’s face...and you would like to believe Alfie did too. Everything would be alright.

“What’s wrong, love?” his voice sounded close to your ear, beard tickling your soft skin

“Right now? Nothing, Alf” you replied, your arms hugging him tightly as he shifted to get more comfortable.

“You haven’t touched a drink all night, that's not like you” you thought you had a pretty good reason for that, but of course you weren't about to break that kind of news to him in a room filled with drunken people, so you caressed his hair, laughing it off:

“One of us should remain in their right might, Mr. You’re way passed that already”

“We’re safe in here, I trust these people”

“Even Tommy?” you asked, just cause you knew your use of the man’s first name always took a toll on Alfie. Some kind of feeling of possession he would never admit but that you could read quite easily.

“He’s too busy drooling over his date to be a danger” the words came accompanied by his lips pressing against the skin of your shoulder, his hard breaths tickling the surface.

“She’s good on him, don’t you think?”

“She’s made him go soft, like Arthur says”

“Men such as you don’t ever go soft Alfie. You just learn to think about more than the next scheme, given the right incentive” turning on his arms you pressed your mouth to his, taking less than a minute to lose the train of thought you had been following to the rush of feeling that only he could evoque. When time passed and neither of you pulled away, Alfie’s hands started to wonder, which made it harder and harder to keep the moans from escaping.

“Let’s get the hell outta here” you laughed when he pushed you up, walking towards one of the maze like corridors of the bakery. When he didn’t stop at any of the dark corners, however, you started to get suspicious.

“Where we going?” he didn’t answer, he simply pushed open the door to one of the cars that brought up the Blinders, Tommy’s car for all that you could tell, sat down and positioned you on top of him as a boyish laugh passed his parted lips. “Alfie! This is Thomas’ car, what you think you’re doing?”

“Taking what’s mine where they won’t think of bothering us” you could’ve protest. You should’ve, but then he was kissing you, and maybe it was the hormones of the pregnancy kicking up already but you sorta of threw caution out in the wind.

At first things went well, but that didn’t last much: every time you thought you had finally been able to shut the noise out and just feel, poor Alfie bumped some part of his body against the car. He was obviously too big to be doing that in such a confined space.

“Bloody hell, **car sex looks so much more easier in the movies** ”

“That’s what you get for wanting to mess with your associates”

“And what the hell is this?” bending down with you crushed against his body, the man raised with a little toy in his hand.

“I think it’s a toy, Alf” the little soldier made you wonder what kind of toy you would have to purchase when the time came, causing a smile to cross your lips. Now that the shock was wearing off, you were actually excited to see the baby’s face. You hoped he would have the dashing looks of his father, especially his eyes. Alfie’s eyes were the thing you loved most about him...his eyes could never keep anything from you.

“Well, now I know why he doesn’t have a good car for sex. I mean, kid stuff around don’t help now, does it?”

It was now. You had to do it now, while he was in this playful mood, before you convinced yourself to wait more.

“I guess it’s kinda grows on you, dear. I hope it does, anyway.” the last part was a whisper, you could see the monet his confused gaze change from the wood thing in his hand to you.

“You hope?”

“Yeah…. **I’m pregnant** , Alfie. We’re gonna have a baby.” time stood still after you said it. You had no idea of what to expect. I mean, even after being with Alfred for almost three years, you never really talked about a family, marriage or anything of sorts. He cared for you, you were in love and you knew he would do anything to keep you safe as well as making you happy. There was enough.

Or so you thought until the moment he smiled the brightest smile you had ever seen, holding your face in his hands and replied:

“I’m gonna have to stop making fun of the bastard for softening up now, aren’t I?”

“He doesn’t have to know just yet, love. You’ve got some months, make good use of them” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My take on prompts 41/183, what do you all think? This is focused on Alfie thanks to a request (hope I made the man justice)


	9. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the plot line: "I fucked up"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so bloody long, but if you're here still, I hope you enjoy this! The end is a bit NSFW, just so you know...

John’s place was never quiet. With all the kids he had, that was nearly impossible, after all, but that kind of mahen was better than an empty house with only your bad thoughts as company. As you paced around on the large living room, your body passed tiredness even at such late hour, you tried your best not to think back to the known tiny bedroom that you shared with Thomas for over a year, or the current nightmares he didn’t have the energy to try to hide from your eyes anymore. 

You were not going back, not that night. Not after what he did. 

“Open up” the man sounded demanding as always, and, had you not been so crossed at him, that would surely make you smile. “Love, I know you’re there, just open the fucking door” when the seconds passed without you moving, he started to grow impatient.

“Go home Thomas, it’s too late for your shit” you had never talked to him like that before, but for once you also didn’t have the urge to apologize and be reasonable:  the harsh manner of his words as he bragged about Lizzie still jumping at the opportunity to share his bed only to be mean to his little brother too fresh in your memory for that. 

It was cruel. Uncalled for. The look on John’s eyes that moment...you would never be able to forget that, it almost hurt you more than the fact that Tommy didn’t seem to grasp why the hell you stormed out after his act was over. As if you were just to sit there and pretend like the man you loved, the man you thought about staying with for the rest of your life despite his work, his ghosts and his undying need to keep everyone, even you at arm’s  length  hadn’t proposed to pay for sex with someone else. Not that you thought Lizzie would make him pay, her eyes were always following him around like a bloody lost puppy, after all. 

“I’m not moving, you might as well let me in”

“There’s a reason why I am not at your place right now, Tom. It’s quite simple, I don’t want to be near you. Can`t you just respect someone else’s wishes for once?” you were tired. And lying. There was not a moment you didn’t crave Tommy Shelby’s presence around you, the way his eyes seemed to block out every other thing on the planet whenever they were focused on you, but you knew yourself well enough to remember why your fights never lasted. One touch. One bloody touch and you were gone, every single time. The bastard knew it too, and that was probably half the reason he wasn’t sitting at The Garrison right that moment, drinking and waiting for you to cool off on your own. 

“I’m afraid not” suddenly, his voice sounded closer, impossibly closer, and it had you stuck on your tracks, cursing the way your body shivered in recognition. “You’re lying and I know why.” now he had stepped completely into your personal space, the fabric of his perfect suit rubbing against the thin layer of your clothes, as his long fingers danced up and down your arms. the seconds dragging on.

“How the hell did you come in?” as if the question really mattered. Anything that bought you some time, really. 

“I have a spare key. My brother might decide to take it back after today, so I put it in some good use before I lose my mind”

“I hope he does. After today you should know better than to try and push us both further” the hand that was tracing patterns on the skin of your arms went south to keep doing it to your clenched fists as the man’s lips landed on your neck, his breath feeling shallow.

“About today…  **I fucked up,** do not think I didn’t realize it, love.”

“So you do have a sharp mind then, mister Shelby” the sound of his laugh by your ear was contagious, even in a time like that. You missed that sound, even if it made no sense to miss something you had never truly known. Thomas wasn’t the type of man to laugh, not anymore and by the time you met him, the war had taken away what little chance of him being like that before.

“John can not marry her, I had to make him see it. He’s lonely, desperate and his kids are driving him insane, but Lizzie? Can you imagine what a bloody disaster that would have been?”

“I don’t really think it would go well, but it’s always  difficult when your wife is in love with your brother, is it not?” most of the time you acted like you didn’t know all the rumors running around in town. You had to do it, or else trying to be with Tommy would be hell on earth, but you were only human and the notorious Thomas Shelby was an interesting topic even back when he was little more than a myth to a girl like you. You saw him, back in the day. walking around with his head low and looking like he was still trapped in France, as if he still thought there was an enemy, someone to fight at every corner. You had a pretty good guess at what he did when he entered the small house by the end of your old street, a better guess than you wanted, considering how loud Lizzie could be. 

You also knew she hated you. You could feel it, see it glowing in her eyes whenever your paths crossed,  and you were fully aware that the only thing keeping her from making you suffer over it was her fear of the Shelbys. As bad as it sounded, the facts were that Lizzie was  no more than a dumb whore, falling in love with a customer. 

“She’s not in love with me”

“Don’t act like a fool, we both know that’s the one thing you could never be” 

“It doesn’t matter.”   
“If you hadn’t fucked her, I might believe you.”

“That was a long time ago” 

“You’re a hard man to get over, Tommy. Trust me, this I know”

“You’re not….you can not be jealous of a girl like that, love. Come to your senses now.” he pressed you back against him when you tried to move, put some needed distance between you two. “I told you both, nothing happened. I haven’t touched her in years, and I don’t want to” his tone was changing as the sentence went on, his fingers pulling the fabric of your clothes, making the cold night air send a chill over your body when it hit you, or that was what you told yourself caused the shiver. Nothing to do with Tommy’s fingers going up slowly, replacing the fabric’s warmth with his own. “Why would I, when I have you?” 

“She’s a lot easier. No questions asked. No trying to make you act human every once in awhile.” you gasped when he turned you around, his piercing eyes carved on you.

“I fucking love you, isn’t that clear already? I do not understand why you’re still mad over something that never happened.”

“It’s not the fucking, Thomas! I trust you when you say you didn’t do it, I like to believe I’m not so worthless to you. It’s the way you acted! Can’t you see how wrong that was? John is in love with the girl. She’s not deserving of him, I know that, but they deserved a chance to figure that out on their own….you can’t run around playing God! Look, what happens after?”

“After what?”

“After we get married. What happens when we get into a fight, huh? Are you gonna storm off and propose to a girl just to prove a point? Or fuck her just to make me suffer?” it was just the anger talking, you knew that much. He was better than a cheating bastard.

“No.” His tone was steady and he pushed you flush against him, his hands gripping at you with a sort of need you only got to see a few times, whenever his control slipped. “When we fight, I'm gonna fuck  _ you _ until you see reason” that was all he said before his lips crashed into yours, moving harshly until he got you gasping for air and clutching at his suit. Tommy’s hands, when they caressed your skin underneath the clothes were all but gentle: he was moving too fast, leaving you burning for more as his fingers found every sensitive spot and exploited it while his mouth continued it's ruthless assault down your neck and clavicle. 

You lost track of time. That was the only explanation you had as to why you were panting, legs spread apart in John's couch while Tommy’s experienced fingers played you like a musical instrument he had designed. From where you stood, you could feel his hardness present against your thighs but the man was set on a mission and apparently he didn't mind torturing himself for a bit for as long as he could do the same to you. It was filthy, but the sounds of his hands slapping against your wetness only made it worse and your voice got trapped in your throat when you got yourself together enough to consider asking him to stop. 

Instead, you pulled him closer, praying your noise wouldn't wake anyone up, especially not your almost brother in law and let your own hand wonder in between your bodies, finding his hard shaft and pumping it with your fingers, loving the way he buried his face in your neck, pressing you down harder, trembling as you worked him out, up and down, just the way you learned he liked it done, your high getting closer and closer every time his middle digit hit that sweet spot inside of you he seemed to be the only who could ever find.

“Stop” you had to hold back with all your strength when his hand came up with your own fist, mourning the loss of contact in between you two, feeling the burn of the notion of how close he was “I need to feel you, but not like this” sitting back, Thomas pulled you up to straddle him, his hands keeping your face cradled in between his big ones, eyes searching yours, the lust temporarily forgotten while the man looked for something you weren’t quite sure what it was: “You’re not leaving” the sentence was not a question, more like the starting of a fact, and yet there was such a desperation to the words it somewhat scared you for a second.

Then, he was kissing you again, his hard cock slipping in between your folds like it belonged inside you, hands pulling at your hair. Tommy sure didn’t seem like a gentleman, but yet most of times that was what he were: not that night. When the way you rode him became too slow for the man he all but crushed your waist with his hands, pumping slowly and harder each time your bodies collapsed against one another, his devilish mouth saying words capable of making you blush only by remembering them, while his hand’s gripped tighter on your body. You came first, part of you painfully aware that he knew your body better than you did, and that his somewhat harsh command to show him you were his should have set the sirens in your head, but all it did was give you peace.

“I love you” the words were whispered against your shoulder blade, Tommy’s breathing hitting the sensitive skin while he came back from his own high, the warm feeling of him all over you.

“I love you too, Thomas. Stubborn behaviour and all”

“I need you to promise me something” his tone changed with that, and he nestled himself further into you. “Promise you won’t go. Please, don’t let me go”

“If you promise the same” you responded, trying not to make a big deal out of it, no matter how much his words meant for you, cause you knew how hard they were for him. “I’ll stay as long as you do, mister Shelby” 

  
  



End file.
